Dearest Daughter,

First of all, I want to thank you for the person you are. I am amazed at the way you are growing and becoming the woman you will someday be. I am proud of you. You are more kind, vivacious, charitable and beautiful than I could have ever imagined. 

Eldest, I want to explain something about myself to you.  When I was in third grade, I knew that I wanted to be a writer. I had a wonderful teacher who gave us interesting story ideas and didn’t hinder our young imaginations with too many rules. I learned to describe my feelings and thoughts in new ways, making myself understood for the first time. I was given a voice and I never wanted to stop.

Before you were born I would write whenever Inspiration dictated. I didn’t work as a writer, but people who are writers don’t do it for the work. They do it because they have to. It’s an impulse that can’t be stopped.  It’s like taking a deep breath of air after swimming underwater.  You need it, crave it and nothing will stop you from getting to take that breath of refreshing air.  When I wrote, it was like coming up for air. I could see clearly and my thoughts would make sense of the world around me. 

When I wrote, I could make up any world I wanted to. Fairies, dragons and princesses existed in my world. Good always won the day and truth was always found.  Young women were always strong and smart, kind and vivacious. Come to think of it, Dearest, most of the women in my stories were like you.

I enjoyed my time writing. And then something happened. Life. I got too busy with my job. I started dating your father. I had responsibilities that couldn’t wait for Inspiration. I couldn’t just stop working because a great story idea struck. By the time I married your father, I had begun to ignore Inspiration. Do you know what happens when you ignore Inspiration? She stops talking to you. 

For the longest time I just stopped writing. I knew something was missing from my life, but I had neglected writing for so long that I didn’t know what was missing. It was as if a part of me died so slowly, that I didn’t even notice it was dying. 

Then one day, you found some of the things I wrote. You asked me about them and I told you that I wanted to be a writer. Then you said something that shook me to my foundation. You said, “But you don’t ever write. You’re not going to be a writer if you don’t write.” I knew that you were right. I knew that if I never picked up the pen again, I would never realize my dream.

I never want you to experience what it’s like to realize that you have let your dreams go, or to feel the disappointment of missing your calling in life.

And so, Darling, I write for you. I write to prove to you that your dreams do not have to die with added responsibility. I write so that you will find inspiration in your own life. I write to show you that dreams are hard work, but with a patience and fortitude, you can become anything you want. I write to show you that marriage, motherhood and careers should enhance who you are, not detract from it. I write for you, my Love.  I write for you.

Hating Your Characters

I know what you're thinking, because I used to think it too...  

I'm a real writer. I will never hate my characters, they are a part of me, I love them! I am an artiste! I can no more hate my characters, than Leonardo Da Vinci could have hated the Mona Lisa! My characters are so likable that no one could resist their charms!

And on, and on, and on.

Allow me to retort. 

I have spent the last--too long--working on a book that has yet to be accepted by anybody, and I can guarantee you, that you will, at some point, wish to run your characters off a cliff and leave them burn to a crisp while shrieking for the sweet release of death. Or perhaps you will want to build them up in your story to a wonderful climax where everyone gets just exactly what he/she wants... and then bring it all crashing down around them.

Whatever the method of revenge you plot because these fictional people seem to be running your every thought, I want to tell you, its okay.

It's okay to wonder why on earth you bothered to set forth on this endeavor. It's also okay to think that you are horrible and that you will never go anywhere with this hobby (spoken with disdain by many people who just don't get it) and that you were silly to try (just don't dwell too long on those thoughts because you are wrong about those too).

If you are spending so much time getting to know your characters (preferably in a different notebook or word document from the one that holds the plot of your story) that they start to seem like the annoying relatives from out of state, who just won't go away, you are doing your job.

 You are supposed to know these people (because they are your creation) inside and out and backward and forward. And if you don't, that means that your story is going to suffer, and so will your readers.

And there is a way out of this. I'm not the type of advise-giver that will tell you 'Everything is perfectly hunky dory!' or 'Don't worry you are a beautiful spirit who can do anything you want!' without giving you a way to do just that.

My first piece of solid advise is this:
Write those horrific scenes in which your characters suffer for their inability to conform to your specific, original, plot-line. If you think it would feel good to have your hero suddenly stab your heroine in the face... Do it! Write a short blurb in which Johnny gets mad enough to stab Suzy in the throat. Or one where Suzy has listened to one-too-many of Johnny's Plan A, Plan B speeches and she wants him to shut his hole...     for good.
Second:
Do an outline of your book complete with numbering the order of events you have in your head or on paper (or screen). This is tedious work and you will feel like the world's biggest dork for doing it, but it really does help you get focused and fall back in love with your characters.
Third:
Remove your characters from the situation they are in. If you are writing a love story where the hero and heroine are never apart... Separate the two of them (like they did in school when you were talking too much to your neighbor). Drop one in a story about a flood that is about to hit and make him/her figure out how to get themselves out of trouble without their counterpart. And drop the other in a completely different love story where he/she falls in love with a person that is the polar opposite of their original love interest. Write two separate stories. You do not have to use the examples I gave you.
Fourth:
Do a role reversal story (this is my current plan of attack):
If your heroine is a strong, independent type (think, Lizzy Bennet from Pride and Prejudice) who falls for a guy who is strong, but maybe a little unsure of himself. Write yourself a short story about a heroine who is shy and unsure of herself (with hidden strengths) and a guy who can see those strengths and wants to help her develop them.
And last, but not least:
Remember why you started your book, story, poem, or whatever! If you actually took the time to sit down with a pen, keyboard, pencil, or a hammer and chisel, you wanted this story to happen! You saw something lacking in the published works that line bookstore shelves, and decided to fill it (and it doesn't really matter if you did this for yourself or if you wanted to reach millions). That is a HUGE thing and writing a book is a HUGE task and whatever your reasons for shouldering this burden, you are equal to it.

One last nugget of literary wisdom, and I will be out of your hair so that you can get back to your work.

You do NOT actually hate your characters!!!!!!!!
You are frustrated with yourself because you think this process should be going more smoothly or faster or, maybe you're thinking that, if you were a better writer, you wouldn't be having this much trouble. And since your characters are the form this bitter pill has taken, they are the perfect scape-goat! You can blame those stupid people that popped into your head one day and refused to leave (though I recommend keeping this bit of information to yourself... unless you are talking to another writer) because they don't want to go into the dark and scary cave, or they don't want to get over their obstacles and fall into each others' arms, or perhaps they just refuse to behave the way you thought they would.
And that is alright too, to admit that you are frustrated with yourself. It's the first step to getting un-frustrated and moving on with what you love to do.

Good luck with your work and thanks for reading!!!